Ficlet: "Family Planning"
Feb. 9th, 2007 08:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fiercelydreamedTitle: Family Planning
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Planned parenthood, Y the Last Man style. Takes place around the end of the book five, Ring of Truth.
For those unfamiliar with Brian K. Vaughan's fantastic comic book series Y the Last Man, here are the basics. In 2002, a mysterious plague kills every mammal with a Y chromosome -- except for Yorick Brown, an unemployed twenty-something smart-ass with a useless BA, and his capuchin monkey Ampersand. The president places Yorick in the care of Agent 355, a member of a secret government agency known as the Culper Ring; she's less than pleased to be on babysitting duty. The two of them track down Dr. Allison Mann, the world's greatest surviving expert on human cloning, and begin a cross-country trek to her California lab where they hope to learn what caused the plague. Between dodging the Amazons (a terrorist cult dedicated to destroying all remaining symbols of the patriarchy), the Israeli army (as the world's most powerful military force, they're bent on securing the last man), and a variety of other interfering parties, things don't go as planned. Meanwhile, the world of women begins to rebuild.
Santa Barbara, CA, three years after the plague.
DR. MARIA VILLANUEVA, a handsome middle-aged Latina woman, is standing in an office looking through a patient's chart. An electronic door chime sounds in the lobby outside the office.
KAREN [out of panel]: Good morning, welcome to the Planned Parenthood Fertility Clinic.
Cut to KAREN, a clean-cut young woman, as seen from over the shoulder the person standing in front of the counter.
KAREN: How can I ... help ... [she trails off, looking shocked.]
Cut to DR. VILLANUEVA, head up, looking concerned at the silence from the lobby. She sets the chart down and moves for the door, pulling pepper spray out of her pocket as she goes.
Panel shows DR. VILLANUEVA pausing, stunned, in the doorway from her office to the lobby.
YORICK [out of panel]: Holy crap.
Cut to YORICK, a scruffy brown-haired guy with the hood of his cloak off, medical mask in one hand, surveying the literature in the lobby: "STDs and Lesbians," "Fertility after 30," "Choosing a Sperm Donor," and "Is IVF the Right Choice For You?"
Y: I've gotten pretty blase about living in The Twilight Zone, but this is fucking surreal.
K [reverently, as DR. ALLISON MANN, an Asian woman in her early thirties, and AGENT 355, an African-American woman in her late twenties dressed in all black, rush in through the front doors]: Oh my god.
DR. VILLANUEVA strides forward and holds her hand out to YORICK.
DR. V: Good morning, I'm Dr. Maria Villanueva. What can we do for you today, sir?
355 [hand to her forehead, looking thoroughly disgruntled]: Jesus Christ. Three years later and he's still the least stealthy person on the planet.
ALLISON strides forward to the desk, pushing her glasses up her nose.
A: Wait, wait, "fertility clinic" -- are you saying --
KAREN rises to her feet, ecstatic as she stares at YORICK.
K: Oh my god. You're --
DR. V: Karen, why don't you go take inventory in the back? I think we're a little low on triphasic OCs again.
K: But --
DR. V: I've got this one, Karen. You can go.
KAREN leaves, reluctantly.
A: When you say "fertility clinic," what exactly do you mean?
DR. V [clearly proud]: In addition to our full range of reproductive health services, we offer family planning services including fertility assessments, fertility-enhancing medication, oocyte retrieval, in vitro fertilization, prenatal care --
355 moves forward to join the conversation.
355: Back up a second -- you're doing in vitro?
Y: I thought the Amazons took out all the fertility clinics.
DR. V [captioned over a series of flashback panels]: When the plague struck, I was working for the Southern California Reproductive Center Medical Group and volunteering here. [DR. VILLANUEVA in a chaotic hospital, shouting for assistance as she bends over an orderly who is bleeding from his eyes and ears.] I kept the hospital's generators running for a few weeks, in case survivors showed up. [In street clothes, she's moving equipment and supplies into a large, well-lit room, while the hall beyond is dark.] But it was too big for one person to really manage, so I tracked down some other volunteers and we started moving everything here. [Several women loading equipment into a van.] We finished right before the Amazons made it west. [A distant shot of the hospital on fire.]
A: Why here?
Y [grinning]: Yeah, isn't that kind of like relocating the Vatican to the Castro district?
DR. V [glaring sternly]: I hate that stereotype -- that Planned Parenthood exists to hand out condoms and abortions. It's always been our mission to support women in choosing whether or not to have a child -- the ability to say "yes" is just as much a part of that choice as the ability to say "no."
YORICK looks embarrassed.
DR. V: Anyway, we'd been talking about reopening here, so consolidating the two facilities was an obvious move.
A: Well, I'm impressed. Almost every clinic or hospital we've seen has been completely looted.
355: So you're saying you've been open for business for almost two years now?
DR. V: That's right. We're currently serving almost as many women as we did before the plague.
355 [impressed]: Damn.
Y: Wait, why'd you want to reopen the clinic? It's not like anyone's getting knocked up by accident these days.
All three women stare at him
Y: ... What
355 [appalled]: I think that's the most Catholic thing I've ever heard you say.
A: What, did you get kicked out of health class? Pregnancy's not the only reason women go to Planned Parenthood.
DR. V: Exactly. Our clients still need pap smears and STD treatments, or have conditions that are managed by hormonal medications. They're still getting reproductive cancers. We may have survived the plague, but that doesn't mean we can't kill ourselves through carelessness.
355: Speaking of -- aren't you worried about the Amazons?
DR. VILLANUEVA smirks.
DR. V: I started my residency the year the court ruled on Roe v. Wade. I've been shot at by evangelical terrorists and had clinics I worked in blown up by pipe bombs. The Amazons are just chicks with bows who misread Adrienne Rich and never got over it. They don't scare me.
YORICK and 355 grin.
A: Those pregnancies -- none of the fetuses have been male, have they?
DR. V [shaking her head]: That's why we're sticking with IVF for now; it'd be irresponsible to do otherwise until we know what caused the plague. Our sperm supplies are pretty limited, and I don't want to deplete them prematurely.
She looks around the clinic; the others follow her gaze.
DR. V: This isn't going to be the last generation of women -- no way the human race goes down that easy. Sooner or later, someone's going to figure out how to neutralize the plague. And when they do, we'll be ready to bring the new generation of men into the world.
YORICK, 355, and ALLISON smile at each other.
355: We'd better get back on the road.
A [to DR. V]: Good luck with your work, Doctor.
Y [chiming in]: Yeah,when those kids are old enough to need birthday magicians, you give me a call.
The three of them head for the door, DR. VILLANUEVA looking on behind them.
DR. V: Wait! [They look back at her.] Sir, just wait a moment, I'll be right back --
She darts down a hallway.
355: Out the door, 'Rick. Now.
Y: But --
355: No! She's going to come back here with a gun --
A [dryly]: Or a crate of specimen cups --
DR. VILLANUEVA comes back around the corner, a prescription bag in one hand. YORICK glances back at her.
Y: Just -- give me a minute, guys. [To 355] I promise, if she does anything funny, I drop to the ground like a good boy so you can ice her.
He turns and jogs over to DR. VILLANUEVA.
355 [indignantly, in the background]: "Ice her"? [ALLISON rolls her eyes in agreement.]
Y: What can I do for you, Doc?
DR. VILLANUEVA studies his face.
DR. V: You're pre-plague, aren't you?
Y [nervously]: Um, I don't know what --
She takes his jaw in one hand and turns his head, then looks him over clinically.
DR. V: You must've started hormones back in, what, high school? [YORICK looks shocked. She smiles, a little wistfully.] My ex was one of the first FTMs to take T in the '70s. The old-guard butches and femmes hated us for going straight, and the radical lesbian feminists hated us for caving to patriarchy and betraying the sisterhood.
She hands him the bag. Inside is a medical bottle of clear liquid and several sealed syringes.
DR. V: I know how hard it is to get testosterone on the black market these days.
YORICK stares at the bag and then pushes it back into her hand.
Y: That's, uh, really great of you, but I'm ... all set up. I promise.
[DR. VILLANUEVA looks a little skeptical, then shrugs.]
DR. V: If you say so. [She smiles at him fondly.] Most of these kids now, they're just trying it for kicks or so they can up their prices with the janes. You get out there and show them how it's done.
Y [bemused]: Yes ma'am.
They shake hands.
DR. V: Whenever you and your partners are ready to start a family, you know where to find me.
YORICK goes white.
Y: I'd -- uh -- [He waves, looking kind of sickly, and hustles back to where 355 and ALLISON are waiting.]
355 [as they head out the door]: What did she say to you?
Y: It's safer for all of us if I don't say.
DR. VILLANUEVA watches them go, then she walks down the hall to a supply room -- as soon as she's inside, KAREN jumps impatiently to her feet.
K: Well?!?
DR. V: Well what, Karen?
K [disbelieving]: Was he, y'know -- real?
DR. VILLANUEVA looks at Karen for a moment. She glances down at the bag in her hand, and one side of her mouth curls upward in a secretive smile.
DR. V: As real as they get.
I don't think we can overstate the importance of places like Planned Parenthood in helping women take control of their health, sexual safety, and family planning decisions. I've gone to their clinics, and I'm glad I could.
14 Valentines: Day Nine, Reproductive Rights.
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Planned parenthood, Y the Last Man style. Takes place around the end of the book five, Ring of Truth.
For those unfamiliar with Brian K. Vaughan's fantastic comic book series Y the Last Man, here are the basics. In 2002, a mysterious plague kills every mammal with a Y chromosome -- except for Yorick Brown, an unemployed twenty-something smart-ass with a useless BA, and his capuchin monkey Ampersand. The president places Yorick in the care of Agent 355, a member of a secret government agency known as the Culper Ring; she's less than pleased to be on babysitting duty. The two of them track down Dr. Allison Mann, the world's greatest surviving expert on human cloning, and begin a cross-country trek to her California lab where they hope to learn what caused the plague. Between dodging the Amazons (a terrorist cult dedicated to destroying all remaining symbols of the patriarchy), the Israeli army (as the world's most powerful military force, they're bent on securing the last man), and a variety of other interfering parties, things don't go as planned. Meanwhile, the world of women begins to rebuild.
Santa Barbara, CA, three years after the plague.
DR. MARIA VILLANUEVA, a handsome middle-aged Latina woman, is standing in an office looking through a patient's chart. An electronic door chime sounds in the lobby outside the office.
KAREN [out of panel]: Good morning, welcome to the Planned Parenthood Fertility Clinic.
Cut to KAREN, a clean-cut young woman, as seen from over the shoulder the person standing in front of the counter.
KAREN: How can I ... help ... [she trails off, looking shocked.]
Cut to DR. VILLANUEVA, head up, looking concerned at the silence from the lobby. She sets the chart down and moves for the door, pulling pepper spray out of her pocket as she goes.
Panel shows DR. VILLANUEVA pausing, stunned, in the doorway from her office to the lobby.
YORICK [out of panel]: Holy crap.
Cut to YORICK, a scruffy brown-haired guy with the hood of his cloak off, medical mask in one hand, surveying the literature in the lobby: "STDs and Lesbians," "Fertility after 30," "Choosing a Sperm Donor," and "Is IVF the Right Choice For You?"
Y: I've gotten pretty blase about living in The Twilight Zone, but this is fucking surreal.
K [reverently, as DR. ALLISON MANN, an Asian woman in her early thirties, and AGENT 355, an African-American woman in her late twenties dressed in all black, rush in through the front doors]: Oh my god.
DR. VILLANUEVA strides forward and holds her hand out to YORICK.
DR. V: Good morning, I'm Dr. Maria Villanueva. What can we do for you today, sir?
355 [hand to her forehead, looking thoroughly disgruntled]: Jesus Christ. Three years later and he's still the least stealthy person on the planet.
ALLISON strides forward to the desk, pushing her glasses up her nose.
A: Wait, wait, "fertility clinic" -- are you saying --
KAREN rises to her feet, ecstatic as she stares at YORICK.
K: Oh my god. You're --
DR. V: Karen, why don't you go take inventory in the back? I think we're a little low on triphasic OCs again.
K: But --
DR. V: I've got this one, Karen. You can go.
KAREN leaves, reluctantly.
A: When you say "fertility clinic," what exactly do you mean?
DR. V [clearly proud]: In addition to our full range of reproductive health services, we offer family planning services including fertility assessments, fertility-enhancing medication, oocyte retrieval, in vitro fertilization, prenatal care --
355 moves forward to join the conversation.
355: Back up a second -- you're doing in vitro?
Y: I thought the Amazons took out all the fertility clinics.
DR. V [captioned over a series of flashback panels]: When the plague struck, I was working for the Southern California Reproductive Center Medical Group and volunteering here. [DR. VILLANUEVA in a chaotic hospital, shouting for assistance as she bends over an orderly who is bleeding from his eyes and ears.] I kept the hospital's generators running for a few weeks, in case survivors showed up. [In street clothes, she's moving equipment and supplies into a large, well-lit room, while the hall beyond is dark.] But it was too big for one person to really manage, so I tracked down some other volunteers and we started moving everything here. [Several women loading equipment into a van.] We finished right before the Amazons made it west. [A distant shot of the hospital on fire.]
A: Why here?
Y [grinning]: Yeah, isn't that kind of like relocating the Vatican to the Castro district?
DR. V [glaring sternly]: I hate that stereotype -- that Planned Parenthood exists to hand out condoms and abortions. It's always been our mission to support women in choosing whether or not to have a child -- the ability to say "yes" is just as much a part of that choice as the ability to say "no."
YORICK looks embarrassed.
DR. V: Anyway, we'd been talking about reopening here, so consolidating the two facilities was an obvious move.
A: Well, I'm impressed. Almost every clinic or hospital we've seen has been completely looted.
355: So you're saying you've been open for business for almost two years now?
DR. V: That's right. We're currently serving almost as many women as we did before the plague.
355 [impressed]: Damn.
Y: Wait, why'd you want to reopen the clinic? It's not like anyone's getting knocked up by accident these days.
All three women stare at him
Y: ... What
355 [appalled]: I think that's the most Catholic thing I've ever heard you say.
A: What, did you get kicked out of health class? Pregnancy's not the only reason women go to Planned Parenthood.
DR. V: Exactly. Our clients still need pap smears and STD treatments, or have conditions that are managed by hormonal medications. They're still getting reproductive cancers. We may have survived the plague, but that doesn't mean we can't kill ourselves through carelessness.
355: Speaking of -- aren't you worried about the Amazons?
DR. VILLANUEVA smirks.
DR. V: I started my residency the year the court ruled on Roe v. Wade. I've been shot at by evangelical terrorists and had clinics I worked in blown up by pipe bombs. The Amazons are just chicks with bows who misread Adrienne Rich and never got over it. They don't scare me.
YORICK and 355 grin.
A: Those pregnancies -- none of the fetuses have been male, have they?
DR. V [shaking her head]: That's why we're sticking with IVF for now; it'd be irresponsible to do otherwise until we know what caused the plague. Our sperm supplies are pretty limited, and I don't want to deplete them prematurely.
She looks around the clinic; the others follow her gaze.
DR. V: This isn't going to be the last generation of women -- no way the human race goes down that easy. Sooner or later, someone's going to figure out how to neutralize the plague. And when they do, we'll be ready to bring the new generation of men into the world.
YORICK, 355, and ALLISON smile at each other.
355: We'd better get back on the road.
A [to DR. V]: Good luck with your work, Doctor.
Y [chiming in]: Yeah,when those kids are old enough to need birthday magicians, you give me a call.
The three of them head for the door, DR. VILLANUEVA looking on behind them.
DR. V: Wait! [They look back at her.] Sir, just wait a moment, I'll be right back --
She darts down a hallway.
355: Out the door, 'Rick. Now.
Y: But --
355: No! She's going to come back here with a gun --
A [dryly]: Or a crate of specimen cups --
DR. VILLANUEVA comes back around the corner, a prescription bag in one hand. YORICK glances back at her.
Y: Just -- give me a minute, guys. [To 355] I promise, if she does anything funny, I drop to the ground like a good boy so you can ice her.
He turns and jogs over to DR. VILLANUEVA.
355 [indignantly, in the background]: "Ice her"? [ALLISON rolls her eyes in agreement.]
Y: What can I do for you, Doc?
DR. VILLANUEVA studies his face.
DR. V: You're pre-plague, aren't you?
Y [nervously]: Um, I don't know what --
She takes his jaw in one hand and turns his head, then looks him over clinically.
DR. V: You must've started hormones back in, what, high school? [YORICK looks shocked. She smiles, a little wistfully.] My ex was one of the first FTMs to take T in the '70s. The old-guard butches and femmes hated us for going straight, and the radical lesbian feminists hated us for caving to patriarchy and betraying the sisterhood.
She hands him the bag. Inside is a medical bottle of clear liquid and several sealed syringes.
DR. V: I know how hard it is to get testosterone on the black market these days.
YORICK stares at the bag and then pushes it back into her hand.
Y: That's, uh, really great of you, but I'm ... all set up. I promise.
[DR. VILLANUEVA looks a little skeptical, then shrugs.]
DR. V: If you say so. [She smiles at him fondly.] Most of these kids now, they're just trying it for kicks or so they can up their prices with the janes. You get out there and show them how it's done.
Y [bemused]: Yes ma'am.
They shake hands.
DR. V: Whenever you and your partners are ready to start a family, you know where to find me.
YORICK goes white.
Y: I'd -- uh -- [He waves, looking kind of sickly, and hustles back to where 355 and ALLISON are waiting.]
355 [as they head out the door]: What did she say to you?
Y: It's safer for all of us if I don't say.
DR. VILLANUEVA watches them go, then she walks down the hall to a supply room -- as soon as she's inside, KAREN jumps impatiently to her feet.
K: Well?!?
DR. V: Well what, Karen?
K [disbelieving]: Was he, y'know -- real?
DR. VILLANUEVA looks at Karen for a moment. She glances down at the bag in her hand, and one side of her mouth curls upward in a secretive smile.
DR. V: As real as they get.
I don't think we can overstate the importance of places like Planned Parenthood in helping women take control of their health, sexual safety, and family planning decisions. I've gone to their clinics, and I'm glad I could.
14 Valentines: Day Nine, Reproductive Rights.